I'm
finding that making a film is rather a complicated thing.
Actually,
it's nowhere near the actual making of the film yet; it’s the, ‘getting the
story out of my head into some kind of readable format thing.’
The
toughest lesson is, you think you have your story, your story is your story,
it's there, it happened, and it’s fact. But it still has to be written down.
Written down to be read. Written well, so it’s not too short, not too long, not
too dull, the right tone...it’s a complicated story. I could narrate over a series
of images and sound but obviously the first part is to get something
narratable! Oh yes, and I’m not a writer, which seems mad whilst tapping away
on the keys on my laptop. Normally at this point I’d draw something, sketch
something, doodle. I’d have materials in my head, objects, form, colour,
because I’m a visual artist that puts stuff together, I’m allergic to writing. Not
that putting stuff together is easy, far from it, but I make things that make
people ask questions, I’m not used to spelling it out, so maybe that’s the same
tact I use here. Nobody said the film has to spell something out, it has to
invite and engage and offer a platform for discussion, an arena for thought, I
don’t have to come up with a new strategy, I just have to work out this new
medium.
The
difficulty of putting your thoughts into words.
Of course
this is difficult!
So,
I sat and stared at the blank screen...
Made tea, came back, went to work, came back, went to Aldi, came back, saw
friends, came back, went the game, came back, flippeneck something has to give
at some point.
 |
| studio |
 |
| studio |
I
thought I'd figure out how to actually tell the story quite quickly, uh errr (that's the Family Fortunes X
noise off the board, remember it?) But as you begin to talk to people, my
mentors David Jacques (artist/filmmaker) and Jah Jussa (film maker) and you
begin to see the possibilities available and really think about the translation
of your tale into moving image with sound. It's completely overwhelming.
I
feel a sense of responsibility here, this is important.
The
first few meetings with my new mentors were more about explaining the actual
story behind the initial stalled project, The L5 Mural, and it's context, the
area, what happened with regard to the family house being demolished, the
bigger picture, the Housing Market Renewal Initiative, Liverpool Football Club,
local politics, local people, postcodes, Liverpool Biennial, a bakery,
childhood memories, the match, the crowds, the horses, minding cars, the lemmo
man, the icey, pebbles in cobbles, it's all in there kids, you name it! It
doesn’t even matter if you don’t know what all of these things are or can’t
relate to it personally, everyone can relate to growing up and the profound
effect childhood memories can have on you and this is really how far back this
project goes. It has to because it was all a response to ‘home’. Emotive stuff,
it's a frustrating topic because of it's layers. Especially when later on in
the story the academics with their statistics stepped in giving the moneymen
and developers a ‘supported’ reason for wading into an area and changing it
forever with no regard to the people who lived there. I find it frustrating to
try and explain. I think part of the reason to paint the mural in the first
place was so I/we wouldn't have to anymore - it would spark questions - it's
easier to answer questions I find than sit and try and tell it from the start.
So
here I am, in a room with two filmmakers trying to explain something so
complicated knowing there's a way to do it but also knowing I'm far from
working that out yet.
Acceptance
and patience needed. Not strong character traits of mine.
My
mentors are not new to the story, far from it, but they are new to me. We swap
opinions and they give me some great heads up on films to look at, websites to
check out and ultimately offer support and we all realise there's a long long
long way to go. However, that's what the bursary’s for. I keep saying this and
that keeps me sane. One of the films David put me onto was Blight 1994-96
a collaborative project between filmmaker John Smith and composer Jocelyn Pook.
It's
a great piece and seriously resonated with me as the footage in the film is so
similar to what we already have. The film has ‘space’ within it, room to
ponder. The words and voices we hear could be lyrics from a song, a poem, they’re
only pieced together towards the end. The idea of collaboration with a composer
is also exciting. I’d had already had initial talks with Gary O’Donnell, a
composer who happens to live around the corner from me in Anfield. We’d never
met before but he’d offered to write a score for the film. Amazing.
Gary
becomes mentor number 3.
I
met him via Pat, my friend from another ongoing project in the area, Homebaked. (Another complicated
beast so it was inevitable it and I would end up together.) We've weaved in and
out of each other’s lives since early 2012. Homebaked is embedded forever to
all those who’ve ever become involved. A concise summary of that project in
relation to my practice here:
So...we
have an artist that makes films, a filmmaker and a composer. And me.
I
was still struggling though. I still needed to find a way to express the story.
I
watched lots of films and it wasn't until I had a conversation with another
Homebaked graduate and fellow Royal Standard studio member, artist Sam Jones
that I began to see how this could develop. I'd never been interested in a
'straight' documentary style piece, always drawn to the more abstract. I’d seen
and heard enough not to go down the documentary format again, I understand that
is a personal instinctive feeling. The documentary format would lead to
personal frustration. To those like me who are numb to the subject I need to
find an alternative approach.
In
the film Blight I liked that although
there is very little dialogue you gained so much information. It was thoughtful
and poetic.
Based
on my painful attempts of verbal description and throwing around words such as
'Narnia' and 'gritty' Sam understood where I was coming from. I know, a miracle.
She introduced me to the filmmaker Jan Svankmajer and the term 'magic realism',
in regard particularly to literature.
 |
| studio |
Sam
becomes mentor number 4.
I’d
also had the idea of incorporating stop animation into the film, the mural
itself had taken a 'children’s story' pallet if you like, (bright primary
colours most prominent – think Lego and inject some electric Mexico sky blue)
and theme. I developed this approach to allow a serious complicated subject
matter a stage that would actively engage all levels – friendly fire if you
like but powerful in the selection of 'characters' used to represent the stories
main players. At the stage of the mural project that I began to work with young
people it was brilliant to see them put their own spin on it too. Immediately
getting where I was coming from and responding.
 |
| sketches |
Then, a chance meeting with yet another Homebaked connection, Mia Tagg, led to
finding out that she in fact also made films. I'd only known her in 'bakery
guise' but more specifically Mia had done stop frame animation. I'd
roughly said what I wanted to do in regard to stop frame animation and we
decided to build a light box. Something that she'd done before and I thought
could work beautifully for this project and future work.
This
is now a smaller on-going project with my friend Stefan building, The4tieredMialightboxstopanimationmachine!
 |
| The4tieredMialightboxstopanimationmachine |
We
looked at so many clips/short films/music videos...a small selection here:
The
'walk and talk' film made with Jeanne Van Heeswijk interviewing me in 2012 as
we walked around Granton Road and L5 https://vimeo.com/50310050
The list is extensive. It’s time
to bring that net back in.
After
a series of writing attempts, still really not sure what I was writing, I
decided to get some of the images I had floating about in my head on paper. This I can do. This
is something tangible that can now be discussed.
In
the meantime Mia has agreed to be screenwriter. This takes a huge weight off
me, I think sometimes a subject is so big and literally so close to home is
hard to distance yourself from it. She can try to translate my sketches and
hours and hours of dialogue!! We'll work together with Gary and Sam to begin
playing with sound and see where we go.
It’s a huge
learning curve and when I’m not panicking I’m enjoying it. Honest!
